How to Create Lasting Change by Becoming the Person You Want to Be
Every January, millions of people set goals.
And by February, most of them have already given up.
The problem isn’t a lack of motivation or discipline.
The problem is how goals are set.
Traditional goal setting focuses on what you want to achieve.
Identity-based goals focus on who you want to become.
When your goals are rooted in identity, change becomes sustainable, meaningful, and deeply aligned — not something you have to force.
What Are Identity-Based Goals?
Identity-based goals are goals that focus on shaping your self-concept rather than chasing external outcomes.
Instead of asking:
“What do I want to achieve?”
Identity-based goal setting asks:
“Who do I want to become — and how would that person show up?”
Examples:
Outcome-based: “I want to lose 10kg.”
Identity-based: “I am someone who cares for my body and energy.”
Outcome-based: “I want to be more productive.”
Identity-based: “I am someone who follows through with intention.”
Identity-based goals create internal motivation, which is far more powerful than willpower alone.
Why Identity-Based Goal Setting Works
Research in psychology and behaviour change shows that people act in alignment with their self-identity.
When your goals support your identity:
Habits feel more natural
Resistance decreases
Self-trust strengthens
Change lasts longer
This is why identity-based habits are more effective than rigid routines.
You’re no longer trying to force yourself to change — you’re acting in alignment with who you believe you are.
Identity-Based Goals vs Traditional Goals
Traditional GoalsIdentity-Based GoalsFocus on outcomesFocus on identityRely on motivationBuild self-trustOften short-termLong-term and sustainableExternal validationInternal alignment
Outcome goals can still exist — but identity-based goals become the foundation that supports them.
Step 1: Clarify the Identity You Want to Embody
Before setting identity-based goals, reflect on the person you want to become.
Ask yourself:
Who do I want to be this year?
What qualities do I admire in others?
How do I want to feel in my daily life?
What values do I want to live by?
Common identity goals include:
Being a calm and grounded person
Being someone who honours their boundaries
Being emotionally regulated
Being consistent rather than perfect
Being self-trusting and resilient
Step 2: Turn Identity Into Clear Identity-Based Goals
Now translate identity into intention.
Use this sentence structure:
“I am becoming someone who…”
Examples:
“I am becoming someone who keeps promises to myself.”
“I am becoming someone who moves through challenges with self-compassion.”
“I am becoming someone who prioritises rest without guilt.”
These identity-based goals act as anchors for your behaviour.
Step 3: Create Identity-Based Habits
Identity-based goals are reinforced through small, consistent actions.
Ask:
What would this version of me do regularly?
What behaviours support this identity?
What feels achievable in my current season?
Examples:
Journaling for emotional awareness
Weekly planning for reliability
Gentle movement for body trust
Saying no when needed to honour boundaries
Each action is a vote for the person you’re becoming.
Step 4: Focus on Consistency Over Perfection
Identity-based goal setting removes the all-or-nothing mindset.
You don’t fail an identity-based goal — you practice it.
Even small actions count:
One mindful pause
One aligned choice
One moment of self-regulation
Consistency builds identity. Perfection erodes it.
Step 5: Use Reflection to Strengthen Identity
Reflection reinforces identity-based goals.
Regularly ask:
Where did I act in alignment with my identity?
What choices strengthened self-trust?
What did I learn about myself?
This process builds awareness and resilience — key components of sustainable personal development goals.
Common Mistakes With Identity-Based Goals
Avoid these pitfalls:
Trying to change identity overnight
Using identity goals as pressure or self-judgement
Expecting motivation to stay high
Ignoring emotional and nervous system needs
Identity change is gradual. Compassion is essential.
Identity-Based Goals in Personal Development and Coaching
In coaching, identity-based goals create powerful shifts because they:
Address root patterns, not surface habits
Support emotional regulation
Build self-trust and confidence
Align growth with values
Reduce burnout and self-criticism
This approach is especially supportive for people who feel stuck in cycles of starting and stopping.
Why Identity-Based Goals Are Perfect for January (and Beyond)
January brings motivation — but identity-based goals create momentum.
Instead of asking:
“How long can I keep this up?”
You begin asking:
“How can I live as the person I want to be today?”
That’s the difference between short-term change and lifelong growth.
Final Thoughts: Become First, Achieve Second
Identity-based goals shift personal development from pressure to presence.
You don’t need to become someone else.
You need to choose who you’re becoming — and practice it daily.
When your goals are rooted in identity, change becomes natural, sustainable, and deeply fulfilling.
Ready to Work With Identity-Based Goals More Deeply?
If you’d like support creating identity-based goals and habits that truly align with your values, explore my 1:1 coaching, group coaching programs, or self-guided personal development resources designed to help you build change that lasts.
Your identity shapes your life — choose it with intention.
