I Know What to Do… So Why Aren’t I Doing It?

You’ve read the books.
You’ve made the lists.
You even have a colour-coded plan.

And yet, there you are again — staring at the task, avoiding the workout, putting off the next step in your healing journey.

If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “I know what I need to do... so why can’t I just do it?” — you are not alone.

This is one of the most common frustrations I hear as a coach. It can feel like a personal failure, like something must be wrong with you.
But what if I told you this isn’t about laziness, weakness, or poor discipline?

What if not doing the thing… is actually telling you something?
And what if the solution wasn’t pushing harder, but listening deeper?

The Myth of the “Motivation Problem”

When we don’t act, we tend to assume we need more:

• Motivation

• Willpower

• Accountability

• Tough love

But these often treat the symptom, not the cause.
Because more often than not, what holds us back isn’t a lack of knowledge — it’s an invisible emotional block.

You may know what to do, but there’s a quieter part of you that doesn’t feel safe doing it. And until that part is acknowledged, no strategy in the world will fully land.

What’s Really Going On? The 5 Hidden Reasons You’re Not Taking Action

Let’s break down some of the deeper (and very human) reasons you might be stuck — and what you can do about them.

1. You’re Afraid of Failing (or Succeeding)

Even if the change is something you deeply want, it can bring fear:

• What if I try and fail again?

• What if I succeed and everything changes?

Either way, your brain registers this as a threat. So it hits the brakes, quietly convincing you to stay right where you are.

Coaching Prompt:
What’s the real risk if you succeed? And what are you making it mean if you fail?
Write it down. Meet it with compassion. Truth breaks the spell.

2. Your Nervous System Is Overloaded

Sometimes we’re not “resisting” — we’re simply maxed out.

When you’re emotionally or physically depleted, your body says, “Not one more thing.”
No matter how simple the task, it feels like too much.

What helps:
Start with nervous system care. Breathe. Stretch. Rest.
Then ask: What’s one ridiculously small step I could take?

Momentum doesn’t come from force — it comes from safety.

3. You Don’t Fully Believe It’s Possible for You

This one’s subtle. You might logically know what to do… but underneath, a quiet voice says:

• People like me don’t succeed.

• I’ve never followed through before.

• Why bother? I’ll mess it up anyway.

This isn’t a logic issue. It’s an identity issue.

Coaching Prompt:
Who are you afraid you still are?
And who do you want to start becoming instead?

Let the answers guide your next steps, not just your to-do list.

4. You’re Still Holding Onto the Old Version of You

Transformation requires grieving.
And sometimes, the reason we don’t take action on our new goals is because part of us is still attached to the old story.

That story might be:

• I’m the one who’s always behind.

• I’m the helper, not the one who asks for help.

• I’m the rebel who can’t stick to routines.

Taking new action threatens to unravel these identities. And without awareness, you’ll self-sabotage to stay consistent with who you used to be.

What helps:
Notice the identity that’s resisting the change — and invite it into the present with love, not criticism.

5. You Don’t Actually Want What You Think You Should

Sometimes we’re “stuck” not because we’re scared — but because the goal we’ve set isn’t ours.

• You think you should want to lose weight, but what you really crave is self-acceptance.

• You think you should be more productive, but what you really need is rest.

• You think you should follow the career plan, but your soul is pulling in a different direction.

When your actions don’t align with your true desires, you’ll subconsciously resist them.

Coaching Prompt:
Is this goal rooted in truth, or in expectation?
Who are you doing it for?

Give yourself permission to want what you actually want.

How to Gently Move Forward Anyway

Once you’ve uncovered what’s underneath, your next steps will feel more compassionate and aligned. Here’s how to start shifting:

1. Lower the Bar, Not Your Standards

Give yourself permission to do a small version of the thing you’re avoiding.

• One paragraph, not a full journal entry.

• A 5-minute stretch, not an hour-long workout.

• A moment of honesty with a friend, not a perfect conversation.

Progress isn’t about intensity — it’s about consistency.

2. Stack Actions Onto What Already Exists

Habit change feels less intimidating when you anchor new behaviours to ones you already do.

• After brushing your teeth → 1 deep breath.

• After you make your coffee → write one intention.

• After school drop-off → take a walk around the block.

You’re not starting from scratch — you’re building from what’s already there.

3. Use Gentle, Identity-Based Self-Talk

Instead of “I have to…” or “I should…” try:

• “I’m becoming someone who…”

• “I get to honour myself by…”

• “It’s okay for me to take this step, even if it’s small.”

This reaffirms your identity while you take action — which creates a feedback loop of trust.

A Final Word (From Your Future Self)

Imagine looking back a year from now.

You’re not perfect. You didn’t follow every plan exactly.
But you kept showing up — gently, imperfectly, and with a whole lot more grace than before.

That future version of you?
They didn’t get there by forcing themselves.
They got there by listening to themselves.
By meeting resistance with curiosity.
By choosing small, honest actions instead of waiting for a perfect day.

And they are so glad you didn’t give up.